Sunday, July 6, 2008

a balancing act

I once read somewhere that in the US, emotional quotient (EQ) is used by top corporations as one of the criteria in hiring their employees. It is given the same weight as the intelligence quotient (IQ) along with the usual qualifications like educational and professional background.

Ang sabi sa report, the rationale behind it daw is that EQ plays an important role in one's decision making. Maaring member ka ng MENSA but if you show signs of emotional immaturity, you'll most likely find your name at the bottom of the short listed names of applicants for the same position.

Sa atin sa Pilipinas, pinasikat ang EQ ng isang commercial ng infant formula. As if naman emotional maturity can be fed into a baby via a feeding bottle. Syempre hindi naman totoo yon. Coz any form of maturity is something you work on as you go along the daily rigors of life.

In my own experience, may mga ilang sitwasyon na where my EQ have played a very crucial role whenever I am making decisions. Dati, dahil immature pa nga ako and for sure mababa pa ang aking emotional quotient, may mga bagay akong nagawa that, looking back, I could have done better kung mataas na sana ang EQ ko.

I've said insensitive things dahil galit ako. Even if my brain is very well aware na makakasakit ako ng feelings ng ibang tao, most specially ng mga family members ko, I still said it because I let my emotions rule me at that particular instance. Resulting to relationships broken and family ties severed.

Sa trabaho, madalas din akong magkaroon ng kabangga simply because of my being sensitive and emotional. Pag nainis ako sa isang tao, sa ginawa nya or sa sinabi nya, I make it a point to confront him/her head on. I retaliate with no mercy. Vengeance is always the order of the day. Buti na lang hindi ako napaaway ng matindi. But I know that situation could have been handled better had I not let my emotions rule me.

Now that I've reached a certain level of maturity (at least sa pagkaka-alam ko, hehehe) I think I'm starting to handle things better. I try to base my decisions not purely on what I feel but a combination of what I feel and what I think. It's hard and it's always a struggle pero sinusubukan ko.

The most recent is the last few months where i went through a period of uncertainty sa trabaho. Kung sinunod ko lang ang nararamdaman ko, I might have packed up my bags and walked out. But my brain tells me that doing what I feel will only lead to my own detriment. Lalayas ako sa isang trabahong nagpapakain sa akin at sa pamilya ko, without even a fall back or alternative plan. Tipong bahala na. All because I don’t feel like staying anymore. Mali di ba. Buti na lang I let my head rule.

I think nag-umpisa yong emotional maturity ko from having experienced love. Corny but true. Without going into details, this is one area where I've proven to myself that I can be one tough cookie. I didn't let myself be blinded by whatever my heart feels pagdating sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Kaya hindi ko maintindihan yong mga taong nagsasabing they are blindly in love.

Aside from love, the challenges that I faced must have played a big part on my maturity. And these challenges taught me a lot on how to put up with very little for a loftier goal. It also gave me the the ability to bear pain. And in the end, it taught me how to balance my emotions, control my longings, lower my overblown pride and be more secure about who and what I am.

In short, it's a matter of learning how to take the reins in your own hand. Afterall, it's your life. It's your existence. And whatever you do, whatever decisions you make, it is you who will benefit or suffer from it.

So better make better decisions. Analyze what your mind is saying. Dig deep into what your heart is feeling. And use EQ and IQ as a tool. Not the other way around.
Afterall, the head and the heart are both created to give you a balanced life. You cannot let your head rule you all the time. You'll end up as another Hitler or Mussolini. At the same time, hindi pwedeng puro puso ang paiiralin natin. Or else, you'll end up a total wreck. Kaya balansehin natin. And I think that's the best weapon we have in this crazy game called life.

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