Thursday, March 20, 2008

what i believe in... or don't

I have a previous posting somewhere in this blog that deals with the story of the crucifixion as presented by a BBC documentary program. It basically said that in all practicality, Jesus wouldn’t have been nailed to the cross the way it was depicted in images widely used by the Christian populace.

The argument is that if Jesus indeed took the form of a normal person, then his weight will not allow him to stay suspended in that position for an extended period of time in the cross as the Christians were led to believe.

I wouldn’t want to sound blasphemous nor sacrilegious, but let me say I have the slightest tendency to somehow agree with that documentary. Maybe because I have been analyzing and probing things about my belief since the time I’ve started relying on my own discernment.

You see, I’m a Roman Catholic by birth. But I’ve been exposed to several other faiths while growing up. And even if I chose to remain a Catholic, these exposures allowed me to question things, find reason, and in the end, come up with ideas that I would rather believe in instead of blindly swallowing what has been shoved down my throat since my grade school catechism classes.
I kept an open mind on teachings that offer better explanation of things that are unclear to me. Or ideas that offer answers to question that were rather left to mere faith and thus, unresolved.

That is why I’m not a great fan of the crucifix and religious figures. If these figures represent holiness to most Christians, to me, it represents an outright disregard of what the Holy Bible said. I’m not sure what book, verse or chapter it was but I know for a fact that somewhere in the Old Testament, God said He is a very jealous God and He is not happy to see people worship idols and figures. That is why he destroyed what the Israelites were worshipping while waiting for Moses who came back with the Ten Commandments.

That is why I don’t understand why the church came up with photographic renditions, paintings and sculptures of saints and hundreds of other figures that devotees kiss, touch and worship. I’ve read the scripture in just a few occasions. But I clearly remember not seeing in any page that we should be worshipping anything or anybody else but God.

Also, I’m not a firm believer of memorized prayers. I can recite only a couple of them because they were mandatory morning prayers while I was in my grade school. And I admit I just mumbled through most of them. Coz I never felt any sincerity in whatever I was muttering. It’s because it was something memorized. Nothing any different from The Daffodils or the Invictus or the patriotic pledge of allegiance during flag raising ceremonies.

Whenever I pray, I communicate with my own words. I don’t go through kilometric preludes. I just say it simple and straight. But with all the sincerity, honesty and faith coming from my heart. Afterall, in all His omnipotence, He will see what’s in your heart even if you don’t speak. So to me, reciting these prayers, not once, but over and over and over is not just a waste of your time. You’re also insulting God and His intelligence by mumbling words you don’t even feel in your heart.

I also don’t subscribe to the idea of the Holy Trinity. I don’t exactly know where it came from. Maybe it was from the Bible but I don’t recall having read this as well. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit? Again, there’s some great conflict here. Why would I bow my head to the Prince and the Magistrate if the King demands sole, undivided loyalty and devotion?

And these are just major beliefs I have trouble believing in. I wouldn’t go into details of stories we’ve been told like that of Jesus’ birth and death. Otherwise, you’ll end up calling me a radical. Or a bad seed.

Call me what you want. But as far as I am concerned, I am a thinking Christian. I believe in something that, to me, is right. Afterall, faith is one of the most subjective matters in this world. And I know you would agree with me when I say that every faith, religious sect or order claims they are the true and right religion. In short, everybody would believe what they want to believe in. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Having said that, I’m still a Christian and I believe Jesus came into this earth with a purpose. And if that is to remind us year after year that he suffered extreme pain and punishment just to save us from hell and condemnation, then let me wish you a blessed Lent. I just hope that we remember these days not only once a year. But in every day of our lives. Coz that’s what we should really be doing if we call ourselves Good Christians.

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