doomsday.... again

A lot of talks have been going on lately about the end of the world. It was pretty much the same as the chismis at pananakot na nangyari noong end of 1999 going into the year 2000. Porke end of the world na raw. Never believed it then. In fact, habang labas ang litid ni Regine sa pagkanta sa tuktok ng water falls sa Manila Pen, I was just a few blocks away na natutulog sa rented flat ko sa Dela Rosa. Dahil sabi ko , if it’s the end, then there’s nothing much I can do really.

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Fortunately, tama ako. I woke up to a brand new day people of past and future generations wouldn’t have the chance to see in a million years. 01 01 01. Cool. I was right not to believe the rumor. Coz it was just that – rumor.

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Pero wala yatang magawa ang mga tuktok na may sayad. This time, ginagawan naman ng kwento ang 12 Dec 2012. Porke da end na raw ng mundo. Sabi daw ni Nostradamus. Sabi daw ng Mayan astronomers. Sabi din daw ng mga scientists dahil ang mundo raw will be totally in line with the center of the milky way galaxy, the sun and all the other heavenly bodies. Hohum!

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O sige na nga. Pagbigyan si Roland Emmerich at ang Columbia Pictures and watch their latest ‘blockbuster’ daw na pelikula. Maybe I can find something to convince me and rethink about my skepticism.

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Fortunately, natapos ang 2hrs and 22 minutes or so na pelikula, wala ako kahit katiting na pinaniwalaan. In fact, natapos ang pelikula na napamura lang ako. Incredulous. Infuriating. Stupid. Those are the words I shouted into the screen. Buti na lang hindi nakakapag-salita ang computer ko or else it will probably throw me back some expletives.

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Nabanggit na ng friend Ega ko dati na imposible daw yong mga eksena na yong bida ay laging nakakatakas from danger. Totoo nga. Di bale sana kung sya si Superman. But he’s just one pathetic ordinary guy, a loser just like you and me and yet, hinding-hindi sya mamatay sa mga pinag-daanan nya. Too incredible.

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Ang napansin ko lang, bukod sa gustong-gustong story line ni Roland Emmerich ang pagkagunaw ng mundo, hindi naman nabago ang istorya nya. Look at his works – The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day. And now this 2012. All of which he directed and write (or co-write).

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Pareho lang naman ang mga eksena. The world plunged into chaos with massive earthquakes, fires, tsunami. Walang pinagbago. Puro heavily dependent on CGI. May kaunting touches of drama pero most of the film puro takbuhan, sabog, sunog, hulog… nakakatulo lang ng uhog!

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Ang masama pa nito, wala nang bagong idea sa characters.

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Independence Day: Jeff Goldblum was the estranged husband of the White House staff Margaret Collin. 2012: John Cusack separated from his wife with two kids. Puro separated ang mga bida na laging nagkaka-sundo sa ending?! Parang soap opera huh!

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And not only that. Sa Independence Day isang drunkard bum si Randy Quaid who says he was abducted by the aliens but nobody believed him. Dito sa 2012, it’s Woody Harrelson who’s the loony who believed and and died, just like Randy, seeing the truth with his very own eyes. Na naman?

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There are many other details na napatawa ako sa pagka-irita.

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Like yong si Danny Glover ang gumanap na US President. Talagang sinasabing very in and now ang movie. Ang sama naman kung si Barack na talaga ang first black and very last president ng US of A! And what about that heavily accented governor of California? Si Arnold the Terminator!

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Then there was the Queen of England na sasakay na lang ng ship towards salvation eh dala-dala pa ang kanyang mga aso. And so is the Arabian Sheikh na sobrang laki daw ng pamilya nya para magbayad ng 1billion Euro each ticket for the ship. At yong Russian billionaire na mahaba-haba ang role na naisip ko baka si Abramovich ang peg ng character.

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Overall, it’s a fiction film na panoorin mo kung wala kang magawa. Pero wag na wag kang magtatanong sa akin kung paanong nagugunaw na ang mundo, nalusaw na ang core of the earth na center of gravity, eh nakakalipad pa rin ang mga eroplano from one Cessna plane to the Airforce One. Fiction nga lang kasi yon.

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And oh by the way, will somebody strip this Emmerich guy and inspect him. Baka may mga chips at signal devices na nakatanim sa katawan nya. Coz I'm pretty sure he's a Martian. I bet he's on an inter-galactic mission to destroy the earth.