funny commercial

the next time you're projecting, make sure there's no bluetooth dangling from her ear! hahaha

ano ba talaga ang meaning ng abs-cbn?

with a combined hits of less than 10,000, this two-part satirical video is still fresh in youtube courtesy of someone who looks like he's made a hobby out of poking sarah palin and larry king.  but i think it will not take long before it becomes another hit specially among pinoys lalo na at tungkol sa ating bayan, buhay, pulitiko at iba pa ang pinag-uusapan. 

siguradong maraming magrereak dito coz the script is quite brazen, irreverent and highly controversial (though you must see other vids from the same crafty author na mas grabe pa dito).  nagpapatawa itong video pero mangingiwi kayo in some parts.  at times it's foul.  but there are parts where what's being said is painfully true.

i'm sharing this coz it's one good benchmark for us now that we are starting afresh with a new president.  hope you can have a good laugh in some parts and be able to reflect on some. 

(thanks to miss jones for sharing)

part 1

part 2

another funny commercial spot

si hatton bay

found this in youtube. nakakatawa... si hatton bisaya na rin!? hahaha... only proves that pinoy humor is boundless!

funny captain

nauna kong nahagilap ang mp3 version nito which i mailed to all my friends right away. then i thought something so funny like this must be on you tube. ayan nga, meron. so i'm sharing it with all of you, DS friends. i've played it several times already pero hindi pa rin mawala ang ngiti ko. hope you get a few laughs out of it as well.

wonder what he was baking? it was 'kak'.... cake is more like it!!! hahaha!!!

lowe beton

my friend cesar forwarded this to me via mail, looks like a grab from giselle's blog. though i didn't have the time to look for her site, i'm sharing this one with you. katuwa. tawa ako ng tawa while reading. i just hope that the ofw part is true.

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Ang Pekeng LV (Louis Vuitton) ni Giselle Sanchez
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Fourteen years ago, I was also in the same place, but I was not smiling like this. The Spanish Steps is a very popular place, especially to tourists and Europe ’s Rich and Famous, because this is where all the designer shops are located. Fourteen years ago, I was also invited to hold a comedy concert for the Filipinos in Rome through a group of Batangeño producers.

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Pagkatapos ng concert ko, sumama ang sosyalita kong kaibigan na si Cutie del Mar sa akin para mag-bakpak at libutin ang buong Italya. Palibhasa, hindi ako sanay na isang bakpak lang ang dadalhin ko para sa isang linggong paglilibot. ‘Di ko yata kayang magsuot ng parehong Tshirt sa loob ng tatlong araw. YUCK! Ang baho na nun ng over! Kaya dinala ko ang isang Louis Vuitton na hand carry. Pero, ito ay isang Louis Vuitton na peke, japeyks, class triple-A, galing Greenhills.

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Alam ko na mali ang bumili at gumamit ng peke pero sana maintindihan ninyo ako. Fourteen years ago, nag-uumpisa pa lang ang career ko. Kapiranggot lang ang kinikita ko at nagandahan lang ako dun sa maleta kaya binili ko. Wala pa akong malay sa brands noon. Kaya ganito na lang ang pagkukutya ng kaibigan ko sa akin.

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Cutie: Oh my god! Is that a fake… I see!

Giselle: Sorry, hindi ako anak ng Congressman tulad mo!

Cutie: Giselle, ano ka ba! Giselle Sanchez ka na! You can’t be seen with a fake! You already perform for the rich and famous not only in the Philipp ine s but all over the world! When In Rome , do as the Romans do! Halika, punta tayo sa Louis Vuitton diyan sa Spanish Steps and buy yourself an original!

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Ang bilis lumakad ng sosyalera, wala ako choice kundi sumunod kahit wala akong planong bumili. Plano ko lang tumingin at bilhin yung usong model sa Greenhills uli. O.A. kaya ang presyo ng Louis Vuitton bags. The cheapest, smallest bag will cost you P25, 000. Regular bags range from P35, 000-90, 0000. And the big and real nice ones cost P125, 000-P180, 000. Sa pinakamurang bag, mapapakain ko na ang pamilya ko nang limang linggo. At sa pinakamahal na bag ay mapapa-aral ko na ang kapatid ko ng college! Ako pa naman ang breadwinner ng pamilya.. Why would I waste my money with such over priced bags?

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Eto na, pumasok na kami sa napakarangyang Louis Vuitton Shop. Siyempre, hindi ko naman maiwan yung peke kong maleta sa labas, so sama si japeyks sa loob. At pagkakita ng mahaderang manager sa bag ko, bigla akong nilapitan, inikutan at tinignan mula ulo hanggang paa.

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LV manager: Excuse me, but what is your Nationality? Giselle: I’m Fil…(hindi pa nga tapos)

LV manager: (whispering but loud enough for me and Cutie to hear) I knew it! You Filipina maids come in here to copy our designs. Get out of my store!

Giselle: Excuse me! I am not a maid! I am an actress and I came here in Italy to perform for these “maids” you were referring to. And don’t you ever call them that! They are called Overseas Filipino Workers. Do not look down on our OFWs because they have dignity in labor. Do you work on commission, what’s your most expensive here?

LV Manager: (Points to this type of a cabinet where the bags are displayed). This one! It cost ___ million lira. (Nakalimutan ko na yung value, basta million-million kasi lira yung currency. Basta halaga ng tatlong buhay ko.)

Giselle: Ganun! What’s your second most expensive?

LV Manager: (Points to a luggage na kapalit ang dalawang buhay ko)

Giselle: Forget it! You! (pointing to a cute salesman in the counter) I will not buy from you, Mr. Manager. I will buy from him so he can take the commission! I’ll buy this, that, this, that, and this! It’s too bad I’m not an overseas Filipino worker because they can buy more than what I can!

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So what is the price of dignity? P500, 000.00—maxed on my credit card; paid slowly for three years; with my mom screaming on my ears every now and then.

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In fairness to these overpriced bags, they are very durable. I started using them fourteen years ago and I still use them up to now! People think I’m so classy using coordinated Louis Vuitton handbags, make-up kit, and shoe bags. Little do they know that Giselle became classy because of her being crassy. Moral of the story, kung di niyo kaya, huwag mang gaya at baka mapahiya. I never realized that paying for your sins can be quite expensive! Di bale, basta mapagtanggol ang dangal ng minamahal kong Overseas Filipino Workers! Mabuhay kayo…kahit mamatay na ako sa utang!

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how the fight started

a friend of mine forwarded this through mail. dunno the source so i can't quote but let me share them anyways. i chuckled and i'm sure you'll do too. thanks ms j.

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how the fight started...

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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. ."Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came fromo utside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thornbush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for$14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than thecold cream.

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first."I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" "Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'' Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she tookto drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.

''My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So Iopened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale..

And that's when the fight started....

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust..'

And that's when the fight started....

one funny doctor

got this from a dear friend in jeddah (cesar) who picked it up from misty space blog. i-share ko lang sa inyo kasi kakatuwa. siguro babawasan ko na ang pag-iingles ko. bakit? basahin nyo... hahahahaa

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One wise doctor's words of wisdom:

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Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
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And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive andwell preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
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AND.....
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For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
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CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

mommy's little helper

nakuha ko lang sa files ni matt.... very funny!

future adik

palagay ko adik din tong batang to paglaki!!! hehehee.... ang cute!!!!

need a laugh?

i've read about this in one tabloid the other day but i never really took notice. but when ega mentioned it again, it started to intrigue me so i decided to check it out. and sure enough, it made me holler... my housemate must be wondering why i was laughing out so loud - all by myself!!! here... enjoy miss ken lee!